Parental Guilt and God’s Assurance

Image of a woman whose face is partially in shadow.

Hebrews 6:10-12 God is not unjust. He will not forget your work and the love that you showed for his name’s sake, when you served the saints, and while you continue to serve them. And we want each of you to continue to show the same eagerness, so that you may have the full assurance of your hope until the end. Our goal is that you would not become lazy but imitators of those who inherited the promise through faith and patient endurance. (EHV)


It's been a sleepless night and a rough morning. I’m the only parent at home, and my daughter, who has severe disabilities, has been fed but is still in bed at 11 AM. I’m so exhausted that I absolutely need a break for a little while. I think, “My daughter is fine lying in bed until noon—happy, safe, and healthy. I don’t need to get her up yet. I’ll give her a shower tomorrow. She truly doesn’t need to be changed out of her pajamas right now.” That’s when it hits: the voice inside me saying, “You are a lazy, good-for-nothing parent. She depends on you, and you leave her all by herself.” The devil is a master accuser, pointing out all the things we think we should do but aren’t doing. He points out our laziness and make us feel terrible for not doing more. It is a vicious, heart-wrenching cycle.


As parents, our goal is to care and do everything we can for our children. Yet there are times when our energy level wanes. Will God hold us accountable? If he judges based on evidence, we have something to fear. However, God judges based on Christ his Son. This is the assurance God offers that gives us hope. This assurance also gives us freedom in how we love and serve the saints, included the children God entrusts to us. Notice that in our Bible passage, it neve mentions how much service or what kinds of service we are to give. We serve in love! But what is that love?


Let’s remember the promise that we inherit, the promise of forgiveness and eternal life through the sacrifice of Jesus once for all. The assurance of salvation through Christ gives us confidence in the face of the devil’s attacks. Some days we have tons of energy to serve the saints more than other days. But then there are days when our energy is not as vigorous. That is okay! We are still serving the saints with the love God lavishes on all of us in the full assurance of hope! This was God’s plan all along!


The devil wants you to condemn yourself for laziness, but in reality, God assures us that our future with him does not depend on our good works or energy levels, but on his love for us in Christ! Do not play the devil’s game. God will not forget what you have done for others in his name. He will recall all the times when you served the special children in your lives! Continue to show Christ’s love by remembering his sacrifice for you and for them. This is God’s assurance plan for you today and for the rest of your days.


Dear Holy Father, thank you for assuring me that I am forgiven and have the promise of eternal life in Christ. Help me deflect the devil’s accusations of laziness and find comfort in your loving arms. Continue to give me strength and energy to take care of the needs of the children you have placed in my care. I pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.


by Patrick Feldhus